Once there was a band…

I want to tell you a story.

Growing up, I’ve always thought that I’d end up doing music as a lifetime career. And in a way, it’s come true, just not the kind you see in your screens or pay a lot of money for tickets. I still do music with my husband from time to time, but we’re now more behind the scenes, more “in the service of” than anything, and nothing flamboyant.

When I was between my late teens and early twenties, I met this group of really talented young musicians (my husband included), most of whom were from a music conservatory. We were put together to become this band that would play mostly dance music at venues all around the metro; and if luck would have it, maybe travel the world.

But that journey didn’t go smoothly. Despite doing extremely well in the live band circuit and booking all our auditions in venues in Quezon city and Manila when we were first launched, it took time for us to break into the top venues in Makati. This was in the early 2000’s. To us young dreamers fresh out of unis, it was an important step to our band career. Only the important bands performed in Makati venues and we wanted to be one of them.

I remember arriving early at a mall where one of the bars we played at was located, with my prettified blue plastic tool box filled with makeup on my right hand and a cheap orange duffel bag on my left shoulder. I was excited. I just got a call from our manager who informed me that we finally got a full month gig at one of the bars in a hotel in Makati. I couldn’t wait to tell the rest of the guys in the band.

The pioneering members of RAVE that was formed in 1999.

Nearing the bar, I could hear the faint sound of drums being played. Our drummer, Oli, had arrived much earlier than me and had been practicing.

I quickened my steps and burst through the doors, “Oli!!!!” I yelled from the entrance. “Pasok tayo!!!” (Oli! We’re in!!!)

I don’t know how the two of us found ourselves in the middle of that huge venue, but we were jumping and laughing and hugging each other in glee. There, in the sight of the staff and waiters who were scrambling to prep the venue for the night. We were excited. We were over the moon happy.

We were naive.

The 2nd Generation RAVE (2000)

Things didn’t work out as we planned. We worked our asses off as a band every single night…and day…for over three years, rehearsing til late nights at a studio above our manager’s printing press, playing in dance venues and bars, taking mall gigs, playing at events, taking the van straight out of a bar to go on Luzon tours and out-of-town performances, fronting for more popular bands. A lot had happened, but the story that started out with a bunch of 7 young, hopeful wide-eyed kids eventually ended.

We all had to grow up.

We went our own separate ways and didn’t try hard to keep in touch. Life had been tough for most of us.

Two weeks ago, I got word that Oli passed away from cancer. All the memories with that group of people that I loved the most at one point in my life, all that we had gone through together — came flooding back to me.

The news of Oli’s passing affected me deeply. He wasn’t the only one we lost from that tiny little world we once had. I learned that my friend, Cathy, from a bigger band, also lost her life to cancer. My friend, Zach, passed, too, on the same year my music mentor, Ning Tirona, died. And it made me realize how sad, and often lonely life can truly be. I suddenly understood what it means by how this world is not our home (Hebrews 13:14), and when Jesus says to fix your eyes on Him (Hebrews 12:2)….because if you only fix your eyes on the world, you’ll eventually see the world for what it truly is….

Ecclesiastes 1:14
I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

Psalm 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Note: I wrote this in 2024, the year Oli passed away.

12 responses to “Once there was a band…”

  1. Twinspirational Avatar

    I’m sorry about the loss of your fellow band member. This story reminded me that we must live and embrace it every day. Focus on what matters and take a risk with uncertainty.

  2. Ivan Jose Avatar

    Nalungkot ako…parang ganito ang istorya ng generation natin…hindi ako nagbanda pero relate ako, kasi may mga ginusto rin ako ipursue on the “artistic” side pero hindi ko natupad at hindi nagpushthrough. And then may mga contant din akong kasama, akin to bandmates, and we were happy then. We had our own world and we thought we owned the world. Then isang araw, we parted ways and pursued our own lives. Ngayon, ang dalang na namin magparamdam sa isa’t-isa. Nalulungkot ako isipin. Yung mga stories na ganito, lagi kong naalala yung movie na “Stand By Me.” I think story natin lahat ito, yung mga pre-internet and social media generation. Kung pwede lang balikan lahat, pati mga taong nawala sa buhay natin.

  3. Sonia Seivwright Avatar

    This really tugged at my heart. The image of you and Oli jumping around that Makati venue, then later getting the news of his passing, hit hard. The way you weave grief, faith, and gratitude together is so tender and honest. Thanks for telling this story.

  4. Ebony Avatar
    Ebony

    I never knew you were part of a band! Each journey is never a straight line, but that’s part of the fun! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

  5. Emman Damian Avatar

    It’s a very emotional article. Your journey is a sign of resilience. I feel sorry about your friends dying early.

  6. jerry godinho Avatar
    jerry godinho

    I was really moved by your post. I was a caretaker to my wife, who battled it and is now remission-free. I admire the way you reflect on the band’s journey, from wild dreams as a young group to finding peace in a quieter, more meaningful season, which feels so heartfelt and real. And your grief over losing Oli and others shines through with such deep love and wisdom.

  7. Lisa Lisa Avatar
    Lisa Lisa

    Wow, I’m so sorry to hear about many of your friends. I truly understand the journey, you know, my whole life was always about becoming a singer. Back in the day, I had the incredible experience of singing with Stevie Wonder and even performing with my favorite Winans family. My family and I have always loved singing; even though some of us stopped over the years, it’s such a blessing to know one of my family members still sings professionally behind the Winans. One thing is certain—you’ll always have those priceless memories that live on forever.

  8. Melanie E Avatar

    Your story moved me deeply. The way you shared your dreams, the struggles, the joy, and also the heartbreak felt so raw and real. It’s clear to see how much love you carry for those memories and also the people in them. Thank you for sharing such a personal story x

  9. Emman Damian Avatar

    This is a heartbreaking story. What a great journey. I think God redirects us to a better opportunity.

  10. gentlebim Avatar
    gentlebim

    I really enjoyed this post. It made me think back to the band I was in during high school. We played for six years before we all went our separate ways. I wish we’d kept in touch.

  11. J Avatar

    I can really relate to your post and I think we might be around the same age. It’s true, when we hear news like this, all the memories come rushing back. Bumabata ulit!
    Because of my social media hibernation and being away from home, I ended up missing the passing of a friend and several others. I found out about them all at once (very much like your experience), info overload! It was devastating!
    I’m afflicted with the same illness that took your friends, and while I am excited to be with the Lord, I still find myself praying every morning na “Lord, not yet muna… prepare my husband and son first, yung di masyado masakit.”
    It’s true that this world is only our temporary home; that mansion over the hilltop awaits!

  12. Alexia Avatar
    Alexia

    Oh May, the story is heartbreaking. Even if some dreams never come true, life goes on. But hearing that many of your friends died so early, that’s truly devastating.

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I’m May

Fifty-something storyteller, award-winning writer, long-time content creator, podcast host, artist, an advocate for alternative learning and a staunch supporter of the arts.

Email me at maypalstories@gmail.com