I’ve been seeing a lot of reels showing how a child’s face lights up when they spot a parent in the audience at their event. These videos usually feature young children that we tend to not realize that our kids crave our presence and support even as they grow older.
Last week, my two older boys joined the Youth Grand Prix Philippines (YAGP 2026) for the first time and their team won. It was a big deal, and now they’re hoping their team will get to travel to Texas for the finals.
The Weight of a Rough Year
Jay and I, however, weren’t able to see them perform. YAGP ran for about four days. As much as we wanted to be there to cheer for them, we had to settle for watching the livestream on YouTube and praying for them from home.
The last two quarters of this year have been financially rough for us. We’re nearing the end of paying off our third house loan, something we took on after construction costs ballooned beyond what was initially agreed upon.
On top of that, we still have credit card debts from unexpected medical and living expenses since moving back to the South.
Then we lost a major income stream. Suddenly, everything went tight!
We dug our toes deep just to keep steady – paying off loans, keeping food on the table, and covering our kids’ learning and commuting expenses. Being unschoolers doesn’t mean there are no costs; it simply means we invest in the resources they truly need.
I’ve barely gone out for months, and while being an introvert has made that bearable, it’s not easy seeing the sacrifices our kids quietly make alongside us. It’s been a tough season.
A Missed Milestone
The boys knew our situation and understood why we couldn’t be there. But since it was their first YAGP, we didn’t realize that the contemporary numbers wouldn’t be livestreamed, so we completely missed seeing their dance.
We caught a glimpse of their performance in a promotional reel and heard from friends how well they did. Judah and I had seen them perform with their team at their dance school’s parent presentation, but still, it wasn’t the same.
We promised the boys that next year would be different. Coins might not be as loose as we want them to be, but there’ll be a few conveniences restored.
It wasn’t our first time missing one of their performances, but this time hit differently. Last year, we also couldn’t attend their annual “Puso ng Pasko” performance with ARDP at the school theaters.They seemed fine about it then, so we thought it would be okay again.
But it wasn’t.
After the competition, they admitted they’d felt out of place. Almost everyone had family and friends waiting for them in the lobby except for them.
They weren’t upset, just honest. They said they felt alone with no one to celebrate with.
It broke my heart.
When Our Children Carry Our Compromises
A part of me wanted to remind them why we couldn’t go -that we had to prioritize essentials. But instead, I hugged them and said sorry. Because the truth is, it wasn’t their responsibility to bear. They shouldn’t have to carry the weight of our financial mistakes or circumstances.
Yes, it’s important to teach kids about real life – that things don’t always go smoothly, that families sometimes have to make hard choices. We teach them that, too, but some things could be avoided with wiser financial stewardship and better planning.
If there’s one takeaway from this season, it’s this: Our children should not have to compromise for our mismanagement.
To apply it simply to this situation, sure, we aren’t rich, but we should at least be able to afford the tickets!
Love or Hurt
We often teach by example – through love or through hurt.
Love, when we show up.
Hurt, even when unintentional, when we don’t.
Both teach lessons, but I’d rather teach mine through love; by being there, by showing them that family matters, and that presence is the greatest form of support.
When our kids become parents someday, I hope they’ll remember how it felt to be seen, to be cheered for, to be loved in action.
Being there matters!
When they came home from awarding day, we took them out for burgers -a small way to celebrate and make up for not being there. It wasn’t the same, but it was a way to let them know that we are here for them, cheering them on.
As we walked home that night, I made a mental note: Next year, I’ll be there.
For every performance, for as long as I’m able.
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5 (ESV)
May Palacpac, Storyteller 
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